Golf Tournament

What’s a “tradition?”

Conversations with couples happily married 50 years or more reveal that traditions are a key to their long-lasting, fulfilling love. Husbands and wives convey that traditions are part of the foundation of their relationship, and they enrich and deepen the marital bond.

Long-married couples also say that traditions serve as an anchor, particularly when rough seas are in their midst. During difficult or challenging periods, continuing these special practices or rituals have provided the glue for their union to remain sturdy. Traditions provided assurance that they are still a partnership journeying through life together.

A simple misunderstanding

Now you may be thinking, Oh we have plenty of traditions

in my family. Whoa, there. Family traditions should not be mistaken for couple traditions. Family traditions are easy to come by. Your family may have Christmas rituals at the family feast or when the children open their presents. Or, perhaps, you own a condominium at the beach, where the family migrates during summer weekends. Maybe the family takes karate lessons together one night a week. These are purely family traditions; they reinforce the family bond. While all are wonderful, they do not qualify as a couple bond.

A head-scratching challenge

Step back and ask yourself, What do my spouse and

I do for just the two of us on a regular basis that gives special meaning to our relationship? If you re like most couples, you draw a blank!

With our 50% divorce rate and even higher failure rate for subsequent marriages, the advice of our elder generation is worth heeding. Start your own tradition today.

Now you may be scratching you head, wondering, What can my husband/wife and I do to create our own tradition? Although traditions like those of Tevye and Golde in ,I>Fiddler On The Roofare relatively outmoded, there are many opportunities for you and your spouse to create contemporary ones.

Ideas to create your own relationship

traditions

The following array of traditions practiced by other couples will help you and your mate spark some ideas for your own relationship:

Maureen says, I love folded potato chips. When Jerry and I eat potato chips, at home having lunch together or at a restaurant He never says a word about this He just smiles, picks out the folded chips, and hands them to me. Each one of those potato chips is a love note.

Mike and Lillian have a rock garden in their backyard landscaping. Every trip they take, they bring home a rock, write on it where it came from and the date, and

add it to the rock garden. Over their 60-plus years of marriage, the rock garden has grown substantially; it’s a garden of their special memories.

Harriett and Jeffrey attended the Masters Golf Tournament in Augusta a few years ago. They loved the egg-salad sandwiches purchased at the concession! Although they haven t been back to the tournament, every year, during the weekend of the event, they commemorate it with a special picnic with egg-salad sandwiches.

Robert enjoys golfing and is a mediocre player. His wife gives him great incentive to better himself. For every birdie he makes, she rewards him with a very special love-making session.

Matt writes a

never-ending poem to his wife, Sarah. Every morning, upon rising, he pulls out his pen and paper from his nightstand beside his bed and writes a verse. Over breakfast and coffee, he reads Sarah the new addition to the poem.

Laura and Gene have a secret numerical code that s engraved on their wedding bands. Laura explains, We use it in notes, emails, cards, etc. It s morphed into a secret hand signal that we give each other. He s in a field where he is sometimes on TV and in front of the public, so he s given me the signal on TV or across a crowded room.

The clock is ticking

Sit down with your spouse and brainstorm “tradition” ideas that fit your relationship and personalities. Pick one or two and start today. They’ll make your relationship more exciting and your bond deeper, better and stronger for years and years to come!

Sheryl Kurland is author of the elegant coffee-table book Everlasting Matrimony: Pearls Of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 Years Or More. 75 couples, “real-life” relationship experts, reveal the keys to a loving, lasting and fulfilling relationship. SIGN UP FOR FREE, WEEKLY EMAIL “TIME-TESTED RELATIONSHIP TIPS” FROM COUPLES MARRIED 50-PLUS YEARS AT [http://www.EverlastingMatrimony.com] http://www.EverlastingMatrimony.com.